I know, it’s a little late. But that’s my life. I’m always running late to everything and that leaves me out in the cold a lot. Thankfully, after all of the eye opening shit I’ve experienced this year I’m not trying to jump on the hottest thing RIGHT NOW to get it viewed … ya feel? I don’t want blogging, vlogging and the like to be a job. I’ve finally come to terms with that and I feel a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.
Earlier this year I crossed paths with a girl who lives for likes, comments, follows, views and the like. Like her life is a constant “I’m validated because I have 40,000 IG followers and have been featured here and there.”. She had to constantly check her phone to see how many people liked a pic she posted … and I realized I had fallen to that too. Why do we do that?
In today’s society everyone wants to be seen and make money here, on the internet. We all think we want to make it big and all of our problems will go away but it’s quite opposite. I’ve watched others literally tear down each other just to try and move up on the most popular hashtag. I was a victim of that actually. I’ve watched relationships destroyed because every detail needed to be posted on social media. And all of this helped me to change the way I interact with social media.
Like I said, I really don’t want all of this to be a job. I don’t want to feel that if I don’t release something at a certain time/date that it won’t be as important because THAT’S NOT WHY I do this. I honestly WISH I could have that discipline I guess. However, it doesn’t seem fulfilling. I tried it. I felt like it wasn’t authentic. But it DOES give you a reason to do things when you’re not feeling 100%. So it’s a double edged sword really.
I honestly have noooo idea where this is even going. When I wrote the title it was to just update you guys on the Vlogmas I did on my YouTube channel but somehow it ended up down the same sort of rabbit hole I seemingly end up in a lot lately. I guess because it’s a huge part of what I’ve taken from this year. I’m grateful for being able to turn shitty situations into learning experiences and realizations.
Anyhow – I did 12 days of Vlogmas this year. Basically you follow me around in my daily life for 12 days where I discuss depression, mental illness, family issues, friendships while I take you on adventures to Starbucks (even eat on camera!), sunrise at the beach, sunset in the swamps and a couple hiking days through Loxahatchee! Special cameos of my doggies tooooo! They’re soo adorable! There is literally hours upon hours of hanging out with me (and even Pete!). I actually really enjoyed doing it and watching how just in 12 days the huge progression I made. That’s why I do this.